Arranged Marriage

When I was 18, my dad tried to set me up with someone who was doing an engineering co-op between ISU and John Deere. The guy was almost 10 years older than me, but my dad was really excited about it.

He went on and on one night at dinner about what a great guy he was; he didn’t smoke, didn’t drink, and didn’t swear. My mom snorted at the last one and muttered something about me having a mouth worse than a sailor and I might be able to teach him some new vocabulary (Odd thing: I never swore around my parents in high school; I have no idea how she knew I could swear a blue streak). I never agreed to anything because the guy sounded insanely dorky. And if my dad liked him, there was probably no way I was going to even be the least bit interested in him.

He did stop by one day because he and my dad were planning on going hunting. I went out to investigate, and I tried to keep a straight face. He was a replica of my dad. There was NO way I was going to even consider this (not to mention it was a little creepy that he was 25, and I was barely an adult. When I came back inside, my mom asked me what I thought – and then immediately burst into laughter. I started muttering about him looking really dorky, and there was no chance of anything.

I don’t remember much about him, but he looked scared. I really think that he would have been slightly overwhelmed by me (my filter on what I said was even worse when I was younger - believe it or not, it worked less than it does now). It obviously was not a good fit. 

Was my dad trying to torture me? No. He was trying to make sure that I would be taken care of - this guy was guaranteed a good job and was a good person. He just wasn't right for me (at all). He made so little of an impression on me, I don't even remember his name (it may have been Shane or Shawn - for some reason, those names stick out). So, while I don't agree with the idea of arranged marriages/relationships, I understand where my dad was coming from. And really, that's where all parents during that time period were coming from - they wanted their daughters to spend the rest of their lives with someone who would be able to provide and take care of them. They didn't want them to end up starving and without a house (which was an easy possibility during that time period). By making sure they were marrying someone with a title and wealthy, they knew they'd be taken care of after they left their parent's house.