Stressing Out

Usually I am very organized when it comes to trips. I start a list of things I need to take about two weeks out, and I even start piling things up around then to pack. I don't have to worry too much about shampoo, soap, etc., because I have all of those in travel sizes in my "go bag."

I leave for California for four days on Friday. I have none of this done.

I don't know much of what we're doing except running a 10K Saturday, the half on Sunday and then a family reunion after that.

I don't even know where we are eating (which is a MAJOR thing for me; I usually know down to the minute when it comes to food).

However, I do have my sub notes ready, and that never happens until the day before. So that's a little odd.

I am a little sad because I won't be bringing Dutch letters to the reunion (my family is originally from Pella) because it was insanely expensive to ship them out there. But, it's not like we ever have a shortage of food (we are a family of food lovers; I'm one of the few lucky ones in the family though who can eat and eat and eat and not gain weight. There is some bitterness about this).

At least, I don't have much going on any night after school this week, so I will have plenty of time to get this all done. I'm just not used to waiting until the last minute.

Buckle up!

The beginning of a new year holds so much promise. Of course, most of us usually come in with a mix of nerves and excitement or even dread. Yes, even your teachers still feel that way each and every first year of school believe it or not.

Even though I dread having to get up early every day, and it takes me a while to get used to not being able to do things when I want and only getting 20 minutes to eat lunch, once I get into the swing of things, I love my job.

As dorky as it sounds, it is really cool to see all my students grow and change throughout their freshman year. You come in all scared and quiet and leave a little more confident. Don't get me wrong, you are still a little idiotic (I claim - from personal experience and observation, as well as confirmation from others that everyone is really a moron until they are 25, so don't take that personally). But you know a little more about yourself and you can understand Shakespeare (trust me on that - you won't leave my classroom until you can I'm mean like that because I assure you that it makes you a better person).

I do dislike that I can only remember about 10 of your names for the first week. I do learn them but it does take longer than I'd like. And, it also stinks because I don't know you as a person. So the year is really a journey as we get to know each other. And other teachers should be jealous because thanks to all the writing you do in here ( it's OK, you can go ahead and groan), I get to know more about you than they do. Don't worry ... I don't share any of that with any one unless you tell me to or give me permission. You have to trust me to give me the best writing you can, and I won't do anything to damage or jeopardize that.

So buckle up, keep your hands inside the vehicle at all times, and enjoy the ride! (Although be forewarned there may be some big detours with sharp corners, lots of ups and downs, and different routes for different people.)

My Main Goal

FYI: I do not like having to be mean and cranky and super strict. I don't like adding new rules and regulations in the middle of the year.

But ...

One of my main jobs is to keep you safe. Or at least make you feel safe.

I've told you all many times throughout the year that as soon as you enter the door, I want you to feel like you're in a safe place. The only thing I want you to have to worry about in here is your -grade - not that someone is going to be rude to you, post something online about you, or - worst case - physically hurt you. Right now, you may not feel safe being in the halls, and that just means that I need to work even harder to make sure my room is a safe place for you.

So, I have to use some new rules. I'm sorry. But, I'd rather you feel safe for those 43 minutes than just ignore the issue.

Poems

Today during your quick writes, I actually wrote a poem for almost every period (until  my head starting hurting so much that thinking didn't help it).  None of them are titled, and the last one is still a work in progress ... I just couldn't get the last stanzas where I wanted them and didn't think I fully finished it.

Head pounding
   it won't stop
Have to keep going
   but just want to sleep
Taken some Tylenol
   No relief
Have drank plenty of water
   Still no relief
Tried some caffeine
   A little better
Still a dull throb
   Right behind the eye
Just want it to stop
   Want to not cringe
Light makes it worse
    Makes me squinty
Movement adds pain
    Sometimes makes me dizzy
Just hoping there's no sick
    It helps - but ick
Head pounding
    Please stop

**********
Darkness never ends
It builds and builds
but never decreases
You're stuck in it
and can't escape
No matter how hard you fight

You don't want
to give in
to its pull.
But its impossible not
to fall into the hole
So, you just tumble down.

The abyss eats at you.
Drowns your soul.
But this never spits you out
It keeps eating
because it has to take it all

***********

It keeps piling on
It never stops
It's not just figuratively
There's stacks and stacks
all around

Many of them
One of me
It doesn't work
Help would be nice
It will never come

Prioritizing takes more time -
time away from the piles
Time I could be lowering them
Instead they just
grow
and grow
and grow

Their growth is:
overwhelming
Scary
Never ending

One day I fear
it will all collapse
and bury me.
No worries then.
Except --
A scary end.

**********

Everything seems brighter
     clearer
     happier
Moods have changed
     improved
     grown
You can see growth
     flowers
     grass
Smells return
     fresh
     *??????
Not everything improves
     nose
     eyes
Pollen flies around
     runny
     scratchy

Is Love at First Sight Possible?

If I had been asked this question when I was your age, I would have told you that you needed to lay off the Froot Loops because there was no way such a thing could ever happen. For full disclosure, though, I am one of the least romantic people alive. I have never been mushy, and in fact, I swore up and down that I wasn't going to get married until I met my husband.

That event, though, probably changed my mind.

I met Jeremy while working at the paper in Pensacola. He was the "web guy," and I was on the copy desk. The first time I actually talked to him, I didn't like him. He had the nerve to correct my grammar in a cutline, which I had been lazy about because I hadn't read through what the photog had written yet (later, this became an even bigger strike against him when I found out he hates their/there/they're, but I'm digressing). But, a few weeks later, my stance changed.

We hung out a few times, and after the first time, I realized that there was something special about him. We clicked right away, and I knew that he was going to have a place in my life forever.

So, while it wasn't really love at first site, I do think that when you meet the one - you'll know rather quickly. And usually it will happen when you least expect it.

The Times They Are a Changin'

As an English teacher, most people would probably assume that I would automatically say that textese is bad. But as with anything in this world, I don't think it is a black/white issue. In other words, I have mixed feelings about it.

What it boils down to is that I think there is a time and place for textese. An email to your boss and a text to your BFF are two very different things .You naturally (and it's usually done subconsciously) talk differently to me than you would one fo your friends in the hallway. So, it would be natural to write differently to the two groups. So, I have no problem with textese if it is used in the correct manner. Putting it in a resume or a formal paper (unless it is a paper discussing textese obviously_ may not be the best thing. But using it in a short story while describing texts from teens or to talk to your friend? That's OK (that being said - I never use it in texts or Tweets, but that's the copy editor coming out in me).

English changes. The world changes. People change. It's just the way it is. It always has. English is a living, breathing creature and it should be OK (and welcomed and encouraged) for it to change, have new uses, and have new words added t0 it. Having it change helps ensure that our language is current.

Change is not bad - change is good.

To Be Scared or Not to Be Scared

As today goes on, I hear the groans and fear about having to read Shakespeare and delve into Romeo and Juliet. But, it's really not as hard as you think. Yes, it will take some getting used to, and it won't be a walk in the park. But, you will get it. I'm not going to let you leave without getting it. I will hold your hand through this process and will break it down for you. I'm not going to let you flounder through it on your own. When we finish - you may not like it still (which is perfectly OK) - but you will have conquered it.

I'll give full disclosure - I LOVE Shakespeare. Enough so, that my best friend and I waited for stand by tickets to go see Shakespeare in the Park in Central Park for 90 minutes. I've seen, listened and read enough of them that they aren't hard for me to understand anymore (yes, at one point, Shakespeare was as easy to read for me as Russian would be). So, I get really excited for this unit. I love teaching it, and I love it when I see you guys start to get it.

I take away something new from this play every year. Shakespeare's writing is so complex and intriguing, it's almost impossible to get everything he's included in a first read. Not only that, but there's at least once during this unit that you guys bring up something that I haven't thought of or realized about the play. That's the beauty of schema and personal experiences; we all bring new ideas to the table, which gives us new insight into what we are hearing/reading. So, with any luck, this play will always keep changing for me.

Going back to being scared - you aren't the only one. Believe it or not, when I started teaching this two years ao, I was scared to death. How was I going to make it relevant/interesting/exciting? What if I missed stuff? What if I didn't explain it well enough? But, once I started teaching it, I realized those were all silly thoughts. I did fine with it. Not as well as I would have liked to, but I keep making improvements every year. I notice what I leave out and listen to what you guys need/are confused with. It's still not perfect, but with your help, I get better. Just like with my help, you'll get this!

Costuming fun

I think dress-up days are a good idea. I always liked homecoming week when I was in high school and usually participated with them. Now, there were some days that I thought were stupid and refused to participate - but that was just because I was a moody teenager that had to go against the grain sometimes.

Now, as a teacher, I still like them. I try my best to go along with them - although sometimes I have a hard time coming up with an idea.

PJ day is my absolute favorite day of all. It quite frankly could be my favorite day of the year. It's fantastic to be able to come in flannel pants and a T-shirt AND get to wear my slippers. (This year, it's a little less than exciting because since I've been sick the past week, I'm wearing exactly what I've worn since last Tuesday night. But, it also made it nice to re-enter the world of the living this week.).

So, yes, I've got an outfit planned for every day this week. Except thrift store day. I don't feel like going to one, and I don't have anything at home that would work. Sadly, if I had been in high school, I could have worn almost anything in my closet and it would have worked for that day.

One of my favorite homecoming years was the year we did different decades. Each class was in charge of a different decade (50s, 60s, 70s and 80s). Our hall decorations and float ideas all centered around that era. And, each day was one of those years. It wasn't as crazy or out there as some of the years, but it was still a lot of fun (and again, easy from my closet of thrifted clothes.)

High school is the only time you'll get to do things like this - so take advantage of it!

Need story ideas?

So today's post isn't so much of my writing, but instead it's a guide for you guys to help you come up with ideas for your story.

Here's some places to go:
*Google "story starters"
*any daydreams
*rewrite your favorite story/book/movie
*take your characters from a favorite story/book/movie and put them in a different situation
*add a chapter/scene to your favorite book/story/movie
*take an experience you've had and fictionalize it
*write a story around your favorite video game

My goals for second semester

Here are a few of my goals for this semester (in no particular order):

1. Be more involved with what you guys are reading.
       A. Keep better track of it.
       B. Talk to you more about your books.

2. Write more.
        A. Make sure to share it with you guys more - especially what I struggled with while writing it.
        B. Post more on this blog!

3. Give more feedback about your writing.
     A. Talk more during the writing process and move away from commenting on the rough drafts.
     B. More face-to-face talks about it.

4. Talk more about what I'm reading.
     A. Document what I'm reading in the classroom while I'm reading the book instead of putting up the title when I'm done.

5. Provide opportunities for you to have conversations with each other about what you're reading.